2013 was probably one of the toughest, challenging, gut wrenching years I have gone through (and believe me there have been some tough years.) But with the death of my father, I found myself in fights with family, fights with my husband, crying, exhaustion and just plain numb. Numb to the holidays (which suck really this first year because I just missed my Dad and my family was all over the US), numb to addressing how I really feel (I still haven’t processed how I feel) and numb to my spiritual life (which has always been something that has gotten me through.)
So even with an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter and loads of friends and family I have felt alone this past year. And honestly most days just trying to go through the motions and keep my head above water. Not that i feel like I’m drowning in sorrow or anything, but just going through, getting to the next “step” whatever it may be and not really taking time to enjoy where I am in the moment.
ALL of that CHANGES starting TODAY! Today my goal for 2014 is to enjoy each moment. I know I know it sounds so cliche, but it isn’t I promise. In the next few months we will find out where or if my husband “matched” for his residency (don’t even ask me how some computer can take over 30,000+ medical graduates and who knows how many programs and somehow get people to where they want to go,) and that will dictate my location for the next 5 years, but that is all. It doesn’t dictate how happy I am, whether I continue to write, shoot (photography) or grow as a person. I DO! So I am taking control of my emotions this year, I am going to take responsibility for them (yes babe this means it’s not your fault when I feel “x, y or z” well MOST of the time) and BE present in the time I have left.
So to start this off I am going to do the Tough Mudder in Vegas with my sister and her husband (you can read more about them here) and probably be more sore after than I am able to realize at this moment, but I am going for it. I am going for life and going for it full throttle. Feel free to sit back and relax and follow me on these adventures or better yet, let me know about yours. Life is not a journey to be lived and walked out alone, it’s to be shared, loved and embraced with other.
Thank you for being my people this year and I hope to hear more from you all this year!